Today’s episode is about significance of opposing experiences simultaneously taking place in our lives, and how the difficult times of feeling miserable often lead to most magical and special moments of our lives. I talk about how there is nothing wrong with these opposing emotions and experiences taking place at the same time. In fact, they must come together, so I teach you how to seek magic in misery.
Listen to the full episode here:
What You’ll Learn From this Episode:
+ The value of opposing experiences simultaneously taking place in our lives.
+ How to find magic in misery, and how they go hand in hand.
+ Effective exercise of contrasting misery and magic and how to stay open to identifying magic when you are going through difficult moments.
+ Truth & Dare Quote: Misery and magic come together: as soon as you experience misery start looking for magic in that very same experience.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
+ Taylor Swift, song 22, from Red album.
+ Join the Truth & Dare Cancer Facebook group. It’s a safe space where I and lots of other like-minded women with cancer hang out and share our stories, struggles, tips, and support
+ To stop identifying with your cancer, take three empowering steps outlined in the free You Are Not Your Cancer guide.
+ If you’re looking for a way to use your cancer as a powerful catalyst for change, let’s get on a brief call and explore how we can achieve that together. To book a free call, click here.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Truth & Dare Cancer, the only podcast that teaches you how to supercharge your self-healer, navigate fear, and recalibrate your life by using cancer as a powerful catalyst for change. On this show we get real about all things cancer. And now here’s your host, cancer survivor, mathematician and certified life coach, Ceca Mijatovic.
Hello and welcome back! You are listening to the episode number 8 of the Truth & Dare Cancer Podcast. If you have not yet done so please subscribe to us on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast, and like us on Facebook.
I’m your host Ceca Mijatovic and today I’m talking about significance of opposing experiences simultaneously taking place in our lives.
Earlier this year I took my nieces to a Taylor Swift concert and they were super excited, they loved, and you know how special the first are, it was their first concert ever! They were dancing, singing along with Taylor and of course taking many photos and videos as kids do these days. And then she sang a song from an earlier album, Taylor sang “We're happy free confused and lonely at the same time; It's miserable and magical, oh yeah” That kind of stopped me in my tracks, I had that gut reaction to it. As I reflected on it the following day, the ‘miserable and magical’ were such an opposing yet balancing dualities and they were no different than all nature. It’s the two sides of the same coin, I thought. She was referring to that in-between time when you are an adolescent: you are no longer a child and you are not yet an adult. So you look like a grown-up, you walk and talk like an adult, but inside you are still a kid in lots of ways and you have that dual experience, probably due to hormonal imbalance as well, of having a miserable and magical experience growing up.
So it’s really no different than any other role or experience we take on during our lives. When you go to college, for example, it can be a lot: you have a tough schedule, you have to socially assimilate to the new environment, and you are away from home and most of your friends, but it’s also magical: you are becoming independent, you are stepping into your own self, and you get rewarded for it, you get all the new knowledge, you are attaining a degree or diploma which opens the door to the next phase of your life. Another example is becoming a mother: giving birth is violent and intense, and difficult, then you are sleep deprived, tired, and exhausted, but giving birth is also so special, magical, and beautiful. Giving birth is most likely one of the most beautiful moments in mother’s life.
Not only that there is nothing wrong with holding these opposing emotions and experiences, the fact is, they must come together: so when there is misery we need to immediately start looking for magic. I know, it’s counter intuitive, and our cognitive thinking is opposed to it, but it’s from this space of misery and this hard moment that magic happens.
I’m here to inspire you and teach you how to seek out that other side of the coin, if you would.
Let’s face it, this is like all nature: four directions for example, North has the opposing and balancing South, and East has West. Ying-Yang, Masculine and Feminine spiral and balance. Left and Right. Top and Bottom, Four Seasons, and so on.
So here is the exercise for you: -- and by the way,
To discuss further the effects of opposing forces and magic they bring to our own healing along with many other insights join my free closed Facebook group at truthanddarecancer.com/facebook. Also feel free to email me with any questions, comments or topics you would like me to cover. My email is [email protected], that’s [email protected].
Ok the exercise: grab a sheet of paper and draw a line in the middle to divide into two columns. On the top of the left column write Misery and on the top of the right side write Magic. Under misery write down a specific experience, the more specific the better. For example: while I was going through my cancer journey one of the post-op complications I experienced was an extreme swelling of my right eye, it was the size of the grapefruit, my doctor’s word, not mine. Anyway, absolute misery, could not see or do anything for weeks not to mention daily doctor visits and complete disfiguring of my face. But here is what happened: I was forced to keep my eyes closed and come to a complete rest, that I started having visions. I was forced to put myself and my healing first…and that was the magic that came out of it. Going from eye time of crisis to “I” time for myself. So on the left I would write eye complication and on the right I would write I time as in time for myself as a top priority. And now, it’s your turn
First write down a miserable or difficult situation from your past and identify its opposing magical balance…this is looking back, of course. Now, what is one miserable or difficult situation in your life today? Write it down in the left column. Stay still and contemplate its opposing magical experience. Jot everything down even if some ideas don’t make sense. I suggest staying open to writing more than one over few days, since this kind of breakthroughs are incremental.
To recap: misery and magic come together. So, as soon as you experience misery start looking for magic in the very same experience.
Seek magic in your life until we speak again! If you got value from this episode and know someone else that would get value from it as well, please share it with them. And in the meantime, I dare you to find the truth in your cancer!
Thanks for tuning in. If you want to stop identifying with your cancer, you can download a free “You Are Not Your Cancer” guide at www.truthanddarecancer.com/podcastfreeguide.