Ep #54: Black Lives Matter Movement Needs White Responsibility

Today is a different kind of episode. Since the United States foundation is based on the oppression and exploitation of Black people – every one of us is inherently born into a system of racial inequality. In other words, all systems in the United States today are tilted to benefit White people. This is why it’s important for White people to stand up. To speak up. And to start discussions. Today I’m talking about how we can all participate in the long term change.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

+   Why silence is a decision.

+   The relationship between a decision and a consequence.

+   The 5 Stages of Change that can be applied to personal and societal development.

+   Truth & Dare Quote: Instead of judging consequences we need to reflect on our decisions.

Featured on the Show:

+   Article Timeline of the British Empire

+   Episode 034: Approaching Cancer with Growth Mindset

+   Book Changing for Good by James Prochaska

+   The CAREER after CRISIS 4-day free challenge is taking place next week, June 15-18. In 4 days I’ll show you how to reinvent your career after cancer (and other crises). Register here. 

+   Anti-racism Resources:

• How to Make this Moment the Turning Point for Real Change by Barack Obama 
• Why You Need to Stop Saying “All Lives Matter” by Rachel Cargle 
• The Stages of What Happens When There’s Injustice against Black People by Luvvie Ajayi
• Resources for addressing racism in ourselves, our neighborhoods and our businesses – by Pamela Slim
• 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice by Corinne Shutack
• Equity at Work | Online Training June 11 at 2pm ET
• Template For Holding Your Employer Accountable For Racial Justice by Rachel Cargle 
• Black Lives Matter: Anti-Racism Movies Streaming for Free by Film-school Rejects

+   WANT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU DESERVE? Whether your goal is to get healthy, change careers, improve relationships, focus on self-care… You can create whatever you desire. If you need help figuring it out, it's time for private coaching, no more waiting for Monday.

+   Are you looking to use your cancer as a catalyst for emotional self-awareness and powerful change in your life? That’s exactly what my work with Truth & Dare Cancer is all about. If you need help getting started, book a free consultation call, and we’ll explore how you can take the first step. To schedule go to truthanddarecancer.com/call.

+   I’d love to hear your perspective and thoughts about the sleep deprivation topic – just tag me on Facebook or Instagram @truthanddarecancer handle

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Truth & Dare Cancer, the only podcast that teaches you how to supercharge your self-healer, navigate fear, and recalibrate your life by using cancer as a powerful catalyst for change. On this show we get real about all things cancer. And now here’s your host, cancer survivor, mathematician and certified life coach, Ceca Mijatovic. Hello and welcome back! You are listening to the episode number 54 of the Truth & Dare Cancer Podcast. If you have not yet done so, go ahead and subscribe to us on Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast, and like us on Facebook. To access the show notes for this episode go to truthanddarecancer.com/podcast and select episode number 54. I’m your host Ceca Mijatovic and today is a different kind of episode. This episode comes a day late, as I decided to pause the scheduled content and to postpone the Career after Crisis challenge by one week. I want to can create space and give attention to the Black Lives Matter movement. Today I’m talking about how we can all participate in the long term change in the systemic inequality of our country. The foundation of this country is based on oppression and exploitation of Black people. It’s a systemic racial inequality that everyone is inherently born into. And the system favors white people. So all the messaging that you receive consciously or unconsciously is tilted in support of white supremacism. If we look at the history of Western civilization, we can just observe one group of people, British Empire and with its colonization of the world that started in late 1400’s. I included the link in the show-notes with the timeline of British conquering Asia, then going to Africa, than America, and so on. Fast forward to recent times when Black people couldn’t vote, similar to women not being able to vote and women not having the same rights as man. The whole society was designed by white men for white men (mostly straight white man). So when you are born into that system and you are not a white man, and specifically you are a Black human the whole system is tilted away from you. All the messaging, economics, education it’s all designed in favor of white, and that’s why we use the term white privilege. And that’s how unconscious biases are created. So I say question your thoughts and be willing to revisit some of your unconscious biases. Today I’ll talk about two topics I touched on last week during my FB lives. One topic is on how not getting involved and remaining silent is a decision. I say this because too often those of us who are privileged by the system don’t see or don’t care that the system favors us and as a result we don’t want to rock the boat. But, in order to do the right thing white people actually need to step out of the comfort zone and be part of the solution. As a life coach I talk a lot about indecision. Because indecision is a decision. It’s also one of those fear based decisions that’s keeping you stuck. Indecision and complacence are part of the FIXED mindset not a GROWTH mindset, and I talked about the difference between the two a year ago, I’ll link the Growth vs Fixed mindset episode in the show-notes Well, SIELENCE is also a decision. As Martin Luther King famously said “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter” And make no mistake, the silence is heard loudly and clearly. Which leads me to another point… ten days ago I intentionally wrote a very pointy post on my personal FB feed about the systemic racial inequality in our country. And called on White people to stand up, and speak up… let’s discuss. I want to hear from everyone, even if you disagree. Of course I don’t like that the cities are being destroyed, but I hold no judgement, zero judgment toward the protestors. And this is why: what’s happening is a consequence of a much brother issue. And silence by White people is one of those issues. So please understand that silence is a decision. And every decision has a consequence. So instead of judging the consequence we need to reflect on our decisions. It’s a perfect example of Cause and effect So start reflecting on your own decisions, which drive your behavior and look for the deeper truth in yourself. The Black Lives matter movement is a moment of raw painful truth. These are universal teachings: for self-development and social change. Change is not convenient, easy or pleasant. Because, change is an intentional interruption of a pattern. What we are witnessing is a consequence. So let’s not judge the consequence, but reflect on the decisions and broader issues at hand. Remembering that silence is a decision and that silence is heard loudly and clearly. I’m put together a collection or resources to help you get informed and involved as you wish, so look for those links in the show-notes as well. The second topic is the on process of Change and the 5 stages of Change which will help you understand where you are in the process of change when it comes to racism. “Change is an act of making or becoming different” As I mentioned earlier Change is not convenient, easy or pleasant. Because, change is an intentional interruption of a pattern. James Prochaska studied behavioral change for 30 years and here are the 5 stages he’s identified: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. They can be applied to personal development, career change, and society at large. He mainly focused on addictive behavior and personal development, but we can extrapolate the broader application "Pre-contemplation is the stage 1 at which there is no intention to change behavior in the foreseeable future. Many individuals in this stage are unaware or under-aware of their problems." Some people call this phase "denial." "Contemplation is the stage 2 in which people are aware that a problem exists and are seriously thinking about overcoming it but have not yet made a commitment to take action." Many people in this stage can be described as ambivalent. Simple example: You are ready to lose weight and get in shape, but are not yet ready to cut back on eating, or start exercising. Preparation is a stage 3, and it can be considered the information gathering and planning stage. The preparation stage is the most important. Interestingly enough, 50% of the people who attempt behavior change and skip this stage will relapse within 3 weeks. "Action is the stage 4 in which individuals modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome their problems. Action involves the most overt behavioral changes and requires considerable commitment of time and energy." During the action stage, one implements the plans developed and information gathered in the preparation stage. "Maintenance is the stage 5 in which people work to prevent relapse and consolidate the gains that are attained during action. For addictive behaviors this stage extends from six months to an indeterminate period past the initial action." Now I invite you to reflect on these five stages and if you are a white person examine where you are in regards to racism. The five stages again are: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. Please remember that making things better is an attitude. The attitude of possibility and the position of generosity. So when you know which stage you are in, and use that as your starting point, it’s all about making the decision to own your learning. And throughout this process of change we can show compassion consistently to yourself and others, and approach the process of change with persistence and commitment. Now, Let me remind you that the Career after Crisis challenge is starting on Monday June 15. If you don’t name and claim what you want your new career to be, your new career will create itself around you. And if you aren’t intentional about it, that automatic new work life most likely will not be a life you want. During a crisis such as cancer and Covid-19, many people reevaluate their careers, whether by necessity or by choice. Your cancer journey is challenging in many ways. It requires so many shifts - mental, physical, emotional - and so much undoing. I created this 4-day challenge to ease into reinventing your career. Starting Monday, June 15, we’re going to spend 4 days to help you: Reevaluate Your Time, Realign to Your Energy, Reprioritize Yourself, Reclaim Your Calendar By taking just 30 minutes/day to tune into yourself - 4 days in a row - you are going to walk away *seriously* empowered. Empowered in your healing journey. Empowered in your career. Empowered in your LIFE. Let’s find a little ease during a difficult time. Let’s unplug and brainstorm together for just 30 minutes a day. So Join me for the challenge to start reinventing your Career after Crisis at truthanddarecancer.com / career challenge, and the link will also be in the show notes. It sounds amazing, right?! But if you need another reason to join, here are three more: 1. Win awesome prizes, including a group coaching call and a private coaching session with me to help you map out your career transition plan! 2. Join a community of women dealing with cancer or going through other crises on a similar journey as you complete the daily lessons side-by-side and provide each other with inspiration and support. 3. And it’s completely FREE, so what are you waiting for?! Get in there at truthanddarecancer.com / career challenge, We start on Monday, June 15. Can’t wait to see you there. Keep on changing because that is the only way to evolve as a person and to evolve the society at large. Lots of love to you! Thanks for tuning in. If you want to stop identifying with your cancer, you can download a free “You Are Not Your Cancer” guide at www.truthanddarecancer.com/podcastfreeguide.

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