Selfish or self-full?

Nov 25, 2018

 We’ve all heard it.

We’ve all thought it.

And chances are we’ve said it once or twice, maybe even rolling our eyes for added effect...

Perhaps when a friend-of-a-friend shares that she takes a day off from her family every week, or when we overhear the lady next to us in the chemo ward talking about her luxurious evening baths in gratuitous detail.  

“Who does she think she is? She’s so full of herself.”

Since my diagnosis, becoming full of myself has been my top priority.

Here’s why.

There’s a lot of shame associated with putting yourself first, especially for women. We’re meant to be the carers, the nurturers, and - in a lot of cultures - the subversive sex. So when we try and break free of this mold and spend a little time investing in ourselves, we often get labeled as selfish.

Not fair, right?

Especially because investing in yourself is critical for your self-healing and your well-being…

And when you’re living with cancer, well-being is everything...

Which means cancer is the perfect catalyst to start putting yourself first.

By telling yourself, “I see you. You matter, and I will give you what you need,” you’re providing a platform for unlocking the cause of your dis-ease, and healing yourself from the inside out.

So the way I see it, being full of yourself is a compliment. And putting yourself first is never selfish, but self-full.

Think about how different your life could be if you gave yourself permission to truly invest in yourself, completely embracing all that you need and all that you are...

Imagine if your needs, desires and your pleasure came first.

If you treated yourself with the same love and care you give those closest to you.

And if you were able to say no to the things that weren’t serving you and make room for those that would.

Life might look pretty different, huh?

Here’s how you can start investing in yourself and your well-being today --

    Step 1: Set aside time for yourself

The first meaningful investment is a time investment. You need to be willing and comfortable allocating some solo time for yourself, so you can use it however you want or need on that particular day. So take some time away from the family, turn off your work phone, or say no to your next social obligation so you can spend the evening giving yourself exactly what you need, whether that’s a long meditation, a soak in the bath, a front-row seat at the movies, or something completely different.

   Step 2: Allocate mental and emotional real-estate

Time alone is not enough. You also need to be intentional with your mental and emotional energy, and redirect portions of it toward yourself and your healing. Because if you don’t, your energy will get taken up with other things and you’ll be back at square one.

    Step 3: Commit financially to your growth

Choose a course, program, teacher, mentor or coach that you believe you need at this point in time. You’ll have that gut-feeling about knowing who you’re meant to work with. Follow that! And I’m not saying this as a roundabout way of suggesting I’m your best option. I might be, but it’s a choice you have to make for yourself.  

 With these three steps in place, you’ll be well on your way to becoming self-full and healing yourself from the inside out. And, as a woman with cancer, there’s no better time to start than right now.  

Want to use your cancer as a catalyst for powerful change in your life? That’s exactly what Truth & Dare Cancer is all about. If you need help getting started, book a free call, and we’ll explore how you can take the first step.


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